Press Releases Should Become Alive Information

Mayo Clinic


The format of the headline is not in all Caps like it should be. The Headline does not grab my attention. It sounds like it is just stating the subject of the context. The headline does have verbs in present tense. This headline is using an article which is not suppose to be in a headline.

Below is one of the headlines for one of Mayo Clinic’s news releases for Sept. 24, 2015.

Servant Leadership, Mayo Values and a Message From the Pope

The lead of Mayo Clinic is longer than 25 words. Which is too long it should be brief What would help the format of this press release is to add a sub headline that would be able to expand from what the headline states.

This is the Lead.

“Mayo Clinic employee John Murphy learned two weeks ago he was going to see Pope Francis address a joint meeting of Congress. He was interested in the pontiff’s message because of his work with the Mayo Clinic Values Council, which promotes Mayo Clinic values and perpetuates the Franciscan legacy on its Saint Marys campus, and also as part of his personal values journey.” Dana Sparks,

Subject Matter

The subject matter is newsworthy because it talks about how an employee from Mayo Clinic is going to see Pope Francis; Pope Francis is currently in the United States visiting and of course he is in every media channel.


The mayo clinic news release does answer the five Ws who, what when where and why. It also states its organization’s core values which is a key component to be in the boiler plate of a news release. This news release was very brief and to the point which is what journalist like.



The headline of the Press Release for HP is very interesting because it uses active verbs such as simplifies. It grabs the reader’s attention by telling the reader there is something new and exciting happening. The Headline should be in all Capital Letters.

HP Dramatically Simplifies the End User Experience With New IT Service Broker Products

The subheadline is very good because it follows very well along with the headline by expanding on what the press release is about.

HP Propel and HP Service Anywhere Accelerate, Simplify, and Optimize Delivery of Apps and Services for End Users

The press release is too long. Journalist want brevity in a press release. The ideal press release should be only 200-250 words they press release has more than double.

Although the Press Release is long it does have a consistent font and it separates the quotes with a different font. It also uses bullet to convey key points. This HP press release also has two to three short sentences per paragraph.

Subject matter

The subject matter is news worthy because it uses human interest. HP being a technology company uses people’s appeal to innovating technology


The content is not straight forward because if it was it would have been brief and gotten to the main point of the subject. The press release has several quotes which can be problematic. Quotes can sometimes use too much jargon: they need to be conversational so people can understand. The quotes must provide information about the topic and a great insight from the top heads of the company. One of the quotes that HP should’ve left out is: “HP Propel is fundamental to our service broker strategy, and has greatly reduced end user confusion and saved the IT team from manually entering requests. Most importantly, it plays an important role in helping Bell Canada operate at high speed in order to better serve our customers.” This quote does give good information, but what good is it if the reader does not understand what is their broker strategy is. They need to remove the jargon and make turn this information conversational.


About Google, Inc.

Google’s press release headline:

Supporting our young scientists through the Google Science Fair

The headline could have been more creative, but it does state what the press release is about. The headline should be in all Capital letters.

All the paragraphs were written in 2 to 3 short sentences except for one paragraph was little longer with one more sentence. The photo placement was very well done because it keeps the reader’s attention to the press release. The photos flowed very well with the body of the press release. Google added links so people could continue to read more about the information which is better that writing too much information in the press release.

The subject matter

The subject matter is about Google helping young scientist through their Fair. This is a good subject because it talks about how Google gives back to the community which gives Google a good corporate social responsibility. This gets people interested to read on how Google is helping young scientist because the Google Fair tackles very important global issues.


The content is very conversational for a big corporation. Google could’ve used a lot of jargon, but since they didn’t the reader can understand the message without any problems. All of the five Ws are answered thoroughly. The press release was brief and very clear.


The Format of the press release is very well done. The quotes should be able to stand out by being bold. The spacing should be double space.

The content is very informative. It gives the reader an insight on what Heinz does for the community.

Redoing a Headline for HP

HP Headline:


HP Lead

Google is going on its fifth year of the Google Science Fair. Mariette DiChristina, the Editor in Chief and senior vice president of Scientific, thought that the idea of Google having a science competition that would be for students age 13- 18 was a great idea, but never imagined how impactful it would be to the community.


PR Newbie Critiquing Media Press Kits, Advisories, and Fact Sheets

MEDIA ADVISORY : Day For Families At John Paul II Shrine In Anticipation Of Pope’s Visit

The Pope is coming September for The Meeting of Families and I’m going to see him, but before that there was a day in June for families to prepare themselves before Pope Francis comes. The best way to find all the important information about this is event is through a Media Advisory.

A Media Advisory should include the who, what, when, and where as well as the contact information. This advisory includes all of that. It is missing to list out the WHO, but it does state who is visiting The Meeting of Families which is Pope Francis. This media advisory is one page. All of the points are answered with brevity, there was no jargon, and good explanations on the what and why. If I was a journalist looking at this media advisory I would read it because it was well organized and it explains very well what and why this event is being held

The improvements I would suggest for this Media advisory would be to put the WHY before the THE SCHEDULE of the event that way the journalist would know why the event is happening the schedule.

Fact sheet: 2015 Audi A3 Cabriolet

We all have dream about luxury cars well most of us. This is my dream luxury car. What better way to find about all its great features than with a fact sheet. This Fact sheet has all those questions one may ask themselves before buying a car such as what kind of  engine it has, the mileage, top speed and all those defining questions for buying a car. It a very simple and neat fact sheet.

This fact sheet answers all my questions about this car except if I wanted to buy this car I would want Audi’s information. The contact information should be included at the bottom of the fact sheet.

Media Press Release Kit: Coming Together

This is a media press release for Coca- Cola.  Coming Together is basically a plan for Coca – Cola to come together with other organizations to prevent obesity. This media press did not give enough information about their plan on Coming Together. They also are not updating very frequently. Last time it was updated was in May 2013.

The only thing I did see that was good were the press releases. They were in reverse chronological order ad they were updated.

Blogging about Blogs

What aspects of each blog were interesting to you?

Why were these aspects interesting to you?

After reading the blogs, what did you learn about public relations writing in general that you did not already know?

The blogs I visited were:

The interesting aspects of blog was the content and the design. I thought the author really made an effort to come out of the box by blogging about something people don’t usually blog about. All his blogs were about how there is more to life than social media. He emphasizes on how blogging should be pure blogging. Pure blogging is blogging about things that matter in people’s everyday life. The design he had for his each of his blogs were nice photos that grabbed my eye to read his blogs. After reading I learned that in public relations writing when blogging we have to stand out we cannot write about the same things everyone else is writing about because how are we going to get readers attention to read our blog. It’s not hard to write about something different we just simply can write about life.

The aspect that interested me from spinsucks was that it was a platform for PR professionals and marketing he professionals. PR and marketing professionals can come together to share ideas and conversant after reading these blogs. The content of the blogs was very interesting and useful for the everyday lives of both the PR professionals and the marketing professionals.  I really liked the blog about “How executives exercise daily and how you can too” because it shows how content can be personal, and can be releasable. After reading this blog I learned that writing for public relations when blogging can be personal and relatable even for professionals.

The Flack blog was the most interesting blog because it gave a great insight on the job of PR that go unnoticed like politics and pop culture. The blog I liked was “Tinder Tacks Vanity Fair” it was very current and it shows how PR professionals can make huge mistakes in social media. One thing I learned in for writing in Public Relations after reading this blog is that we must be very careful to get our information correct before handing to a journalist because more than likely they will not fix it.

The blog that adheres to all the tips for success is Danny, the author does a really good job of being real he isn’t writing to promote a business or for any other reason than to write about life experiences that matter. Because Danny writes with so much authenticity he allows himself to like the book says write crap, take chances, focus on people, and he uses an active voice. Danny advices people to write outside the box and to be clear he repeats it throughout his blogs. He focus on people by writing about his personal experiences and he integrates social media into his stories to capture the reader’s attention. Danny’s content was very simple to read which is nice because I don’t have to Google words to find out their meaning. Danny is doing a great job at blogging I think I may even subscribe to his blogs.